💬 How to master hard conversations
Hello! Adam Thornhill here. ‘The Podcast Guy’ saving you 10 hours a week.
Enjoy the 78th Podup with the best bits from Build with Leila Hormozi.
Ready for a Tim Ferriss quote? "A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have."
Leila Hormozi explains the significance of this skill for CEOs, business owners, and executives, and provides a framework for navigating hard conversations.
Managers avoid ambiguity
The most difficult problems are not black and white. They're often emotional or behavior-related, such as how a person interacts with others or contributes to a team. Because of their intangible nature, managers avoid these types of discussions.
Leila Hormozi
Part I - The 6Es
At the start of the conversation, follow these steps before you let the other person speak:
Establish the tone. You'd say 'I've got something serious I need to talk to you about today so we're just going to get straight to it.'
Eliminate assumptions. You'd say 'Your job is on the line so I need you to pay attention.'
Explain the goal. You'd say 'The goal of this conversation is to get on the same page about what I expect, to create a plan, and to make sure you can improve from here.'
Explain the problem origin. You'd say 'I woke up at 3am thinking about this' or 'I’ve received feedback from people on the team. I need to talk to you about this because there's a trend.'
Emphasize the impact. Let's say you have a leader who is micromanaging. You’d say 'We encourage autonomy. Your team feels micromanaged. This puts them at risk of leaving.'
Estimate the severity. You’d say 'On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is you're late to a meeting and 10 is you're close to being fired, this is an 8/10 moment. We need to fix this today.'
Leila Hormozi
Part II - The 4As
Part II is when you open up the floor for them to speak:
Ask what they think about the points you've raised. Do they become defensive or display coachability?
Advise them on how to resolve the issue. They may ask many questions (signaling coachability) or be silent.
Agree on the cadence and plan of action. Your biggest role as a leader is to hold them accountable to what they've said so they follow through on their commitments.
Assure them about their situation based on their response to the conversation. This could range from appreciation for their open-mindedness to a clear reminder about the risk of losing their job if they were defensive.
Leila Hormozi
Why it matters
Most of us suck at having hard conversations but they're vital for:
Addressing pressing issues that are often swept under the rug.
Clarifying expectations and objectives between all parties involved.
Nurturing a culture of transparency, accountability, and continuous improvement.
Avoiding a potential crisis or high turnover by nipping problematic behaviors in the bud.
Fostering stronger relationships within the team by encouraging open and respectful communication.
Next steps
Integrate the 6Es and 4As into your challenging conversations:
Identify the difficult discussions you've been avoiding due to their emotional or intangible nature.
Write down and rehearse your 6Es prior to the call so that you’re confident and can effectively answer questions.
Have these meetings in person or on a video call to be more personable.
Always have these conversations one-on-one to avoid the recipient feeling attacked or overwhelmed.
Your thoughts?
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Quotes were pulled at different points of the episode. Sentences were left out to make the narrative more concise. Podup is not associated or affiliated with any podcast.